Hi friends!
If you’ve dipped your toe in the world of self-help/personal development, you’ve come across affirmations.
I love myself
I am wealthy
I am healthy
When I think of affirmations, the first image that comes to mind is someone standing in front of a mirror repeating these phrases to themselves with gusto, thinking that these changes, ways of being, and ways of feeling will just magically happen because they’ve “spoken it into the universe.”
Affirmations are a powerful way to cultivate a positive mindset, but they’re also a much more active practice than people present them to be. Today I’m sharing how to make your affirmations more powerful so you can actually benefit (and see changes) from this beautiful practice.
🤔 What is an affirmation?
Affirmations are phrases or statements that confirm/validate a belief. When we talk about affirmations, we’re usually referring to positive phrases or statements. The beliefs we want to adopt, like “I am powerful.”
However, there are also negative affirmations, such as, “I am not good enough,” “I am not smart enough,” and “I am not lovable.”
Affirmations are constantly looping in our heads, whether we’re conscious of it or not. What affirmations are currently on repeat in your mind? Asked another way, What story are you telling yourself?
⚠️The problem with affirmations
There’s a tendency in the self-help world to reduce affirmations to the following prescription: pick an affirmation of what you want in your life or who you want to be (i.e. I am rich) and repeat it to yourself a handful of times. Maybe they’ll even recommend acting as if you already have that thing or already are that person. Set it and forget it.
But relying on affirmations to change a belief about yourself is far too radical for our mind when the change is too aggressive.
I hate my body —> I love my body
Especially if we’ve subconsciously been repeating negative affirmations our entire lives. Our mind knows better. It doesn’t trust change when it’s so radical. The leap is too big.
💪🏼How to make your affirmations more powerful
The 🔑 to making your affirmations more powerful is to first adjust your language. Our brain likes (and trusts) processes.
I am learning how/to…
I am willing to…
I am open to…
Let’s take the example I shared above:
I hate my body —> I am learning how to love my body
See how much more approachable (and believable!) this language is? Not only are you cultivating a positive mindset, you’re also building a growth mindset. It leaves room for grace and compassion too.
🗣How to practice affirmations
Now, how do you put affirmations into practice? Some people find it helpful to repeat their affirmations during their meditations, while others find it helpful to set a reminder with their meditation to pop up throughout the day.
My favorite way to implement an active affirmation practice is inspired by Gabby Bernstein’s “choose again” method. When you notice that a negative thought or belief is present in your mind, pause. Recognize what’s happening (negative thought spiral, anyone?). Take a deep breath. Forgive the thought (we all have them… and will continue to have them!), then choose again. Call to mind your affirmation and repeat it to yourself.
My twist on Gabby’s “choose again” method is to also reinforce your affirmation by looking for evidence of your affirmation being true in that moment. If we take the affirmation I shared above (I am learning how to love my body), that could look like reminding myself that I took care of my body by going for a walk, by getting 8 hours of sleep, etc. Showing your brain actual, tangible evidence of how the affirmation is true is one of the best ways to help your mind begin to see things differently.
🎉Teaser: I will be recording a meditation to help you reinforce your affirmations! As a newsletter subscriber you will be the first to receive it. Stay tuned!
🌱Tend to yourself this week:
The Shelf Love Book Club: February pick!
🥁 *drumroll please…* The February book club pick is: The Source: The Secrets of the Universe, the Science of the Brain by Dr. Tara Swart
If you're a fan of To Be Magnetic, then you're very familiar with Dr. Tara! I'm so excited to finally read her book, The Source. In this book, Dr. Tara (a psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and Senior Lecturer at MIT) will be exploring whether the Law of Attraction *actually* works through the lens of neuroscience and behavioral psychology.
Join us for a fun read that will inspire, transform, and expand you!
On Purpose with Jay Shetty and Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins (author of The High 5 Habit) was on Jay Shetty’s podcast recently and the episode did. not. disappoint. The TLDR: they talked about letting go of negative thoughts and redirecting your energy to self transformation (apropo of today’s newsletter theme!).
What struck me the most about this conversation was when Mel talked about how, as the highest selling self-help author on audible, she wanted to start a podcast. As she was thinking about it, she looked around at her friends like Jay Shetty and Rich Roll and thought to herself, “Who am I to start a podcast? What can I say that hasn’t already been said?” She let these negative thoughts stop her for SIX YEARS (!) 😮 The stories they share are highly relatable and inspiring.
You can listen HERE or watch HERE.
Where the Road Bends
My unofficial (but official in my eyes) mentor Steve Schlafman released his podcast into the world this week and it is *chef’s kiss* everything I would expect from an open-hearted warrior. His first episode features an interview with Jerry Colonna, a legendary executive coach and author of Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up. Give it a listen HERE.
A quote I’m contemplating this week:
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” - Carl Jung
Take care,
Alison